Afraid
by jedimasterroyal
Summary: *SPOILER ALERT* Takes place during the Clovis Arc. Anakin royally screws up, but so does Padme. A take on what was not shown nor expanded upon between Anakin and Padme during three episodes. Will be three chapters long. Please read and review.
1. Afraid

AFRAID

_Hey guys jedimasterroyal here again from the abyss that is college rand darth real life. :p anyways recently I was reading in forums and Ani/Padme pages all about the Clovis arc that debuted in Germany this past week and since I don't like waiting I got all the spoilers and everything. I am not very happy with the ending of the arc, like the rest of Ani/Padme community so… I am writing a three chapter story that contains moments/elements that I think should have been added. I will also add a Author's Note as a separate chapter at end explaining why I wrote what I wrote because honestly i just need to vent. I'm hoping that next week when the season becomes available in English through Netflix, some things that disturbed me will be brought to light. so yeah…._

_DON'T READ IF U DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED. Leave a comment or review below._

_Disclaimer: I don't own SW. Disney and GL do…all power to them._

_Without further ado…._

_FINAL WARNING: CONTAINS MAJOR EPIC SPOILERS OF CLOVIS ARC. DO NOT READ IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE IT!_

* * *

_'After Anakin kicks Rush Clovis' ass in the episode The Rise of Clovis'_

"You don't trust me."

She meant it as a statement of fact but her eyes glimmered with a last amount of hope, compelling him to say something.

Yet he knew if he spoke, they would end up in a screaming match. If he was being truly honest, no he did not trust her but not for the reasons she believed.

With a pained look in her eyes, she sighed and spoke, "I…I don't understand what is becoming of you…of us. It's better…that….that we not see each other, be…apart from each other. At least until all this is over."

With that she turned away not allowing him the chance to stop her.

Slumping sown to the floor, he put his face into his hands. He couldn't believe he snapped like that. A Jedi is supposed to have control. All he remembered was red. All he felt was rage. He forgot his surroundings all the while a dark essence whispered to him. The whisper coaxed him to close Clovis' airway and he felt satisfied to comply to its orders.

But her face. Oh, that look would be etched into his mind forever. Her whole face looked terrified, like she had just seen a monster herself. He had never seen such a frightened being before but what was so twisted was that this look was aimed at him.

For the first time since his mother died, he wept. He wept because he felt lost. He did not know the point where he started to enjoy hitting Clovis. He did not understand when it all became cynical. He did not know when the adrenaline to kill kicked in. In his blind rage of jealousy he lost track when he began not only hurting Clovis but Padme as well, obviously not physically but emotionally.

He clenched his hands into his hair.

She didn't understand!

What would she have done if the tables were turned? What would she have done if she had seen him with another woman, especially in the position he had found her in? Surely her blood would boil just as much if she saw what he had seen. What was Rush Clovis doing with her?

"No…"

He could not afford to think that way. It was what that kind of thinking that got him here in the first place. But it was not because he thought poorly of her. On the contrary his fear stemmed from the fact that he knew he was not good enough for her. She had been a Queen. She was a Senator. She was beautiful. She was rich. She was gracious and kind. She had class. She was smart. She was perfect. Too perfect for some slave boy turned Jedi, and even being the Jedi's famed Chosen One was a curse in their relationship. He would trade all his titles and force powers just to satisfy her but he could not. She deserved so much more than he could ever offer or give her. She desired wooing. She deserved hugs and kisses every night. She deserved flowers and gifts. She deserved someone who could hold her after a bad day at the Senate. She deserved a husband.

The pinnacle of his fear relied on the fact that a man like Rush Clovis, he could give her all that and more. A shiver ran down his spine.

_*That's why you need to get him out of the picture.*_

He breathed heavily, trying to relax but he could not. One thing he knew for certain was that no man in this universe, even Rush Clovis, would love Padme Amidala more than him. Ever since he first saw her enter Watto's shop, he knew she was his. She was his drug. She made him feel free and whole again. She was his air. He worshipped her day and night. Even far away, he would always love her.

And perhaps she did not fully understand how much he loved her. Then again who could blame her? They barely had time to be intimate much less talk about feelings or show her.

Even scarier, now that he thought about it, was the knowledge that she could leave him. Just as she had now. He couldn't even fathom the thought of her leaving him. If she left him, then he would be afraid of everything. He would be afraid of everything that made him anxious and even that which would give him patience and calmed him down. His whole world would end.

Brushing his tears away, he gets up to leave. He would return to his quarters in the Temple to try to get some sleep or at least fight off the demons who kept whispering to go back into the room and finish killing his adversary.

Taking all his fears with him, Anakin Skywalker 'the Hero With No Fear', left hoping and praying to the Force that when he woke up the next day he wouldn't find somebody else taking his place.

* * *

_AND THATS THE END OF PART 1. I'll see if I post the second part tomorrow. Leave a comment or review below please. Thanks!_


	2. Naive

_AFRAID CH 2_

_Sorry I'm late. I wanted to write a quality chapter for you guys so yeah…here's chapter 2. Only one more chapter left. Leave your comments and reviews below. Thanks!_

_DISCLAIMER: Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and Disney. Not me._

_SPOILER ALERT_

_SPOILER ALERT_

_SPOILER ALERT_

_Includes spoilers for unaired Season 6 Clone Wars, Clovis Arc_

* * *

_*After episode "Crisis at the Heart"*_

Following the ordeal in Scipio, she practically ran to Naboo.

Even though her and Anakin were in much better terms than before, she still was not at ease. She knew she never stopped loving him but she was still angry at the fact that he did not trust her or her decisions. Fortunately for her, Anakin gave her the space she needed, though the pained look on his face almost stopped her, she knew it was for the best.

She needed clarity and she also needed some type of closure. The death of Rush had been…well she honestly doesn't know what to think of it. Part of her was…relieved, as cruel as that sounded. Rush only came to ruin part of her relationship with Anakin. Part of her also lamented, because she once loved Rush, and he had been a nice friend, at least until he had become a traitor. So a part of her was slightly sad. Before Anakin, she played with the thought of what life could have been if her and Rush had remained an item, but the past was the past. In the present, her heart belonged to someone else.

As her ship got out of hyperspace and Naboo came into full view, she leaned into the chair. She needed answers to fix her marital problems and knew that she would only be able to find them amongst her family.

As she neared her avenue, she stopped to look at herself on the reflection of a nearby shop. She had to make sure she looked fine. Looking at herself she saw many worry lines adorn her face. Her family would probably think those to be due to the stress in the political arena and even though it was that, it also was her personal life. She also made a mental note of excuses to why she in Naboo and (for later in the week when she figured things out) why she suddenly had to leave. She looked at herself one final time and then continued on home. Ryoo and Pooja were not found in their usual hangout in front of the house. They were most likely at school.

Taking a big gulp of air, she rang the door chime. She waited several seconds. Knowing her mother she was cooking something real good. Mentally she counted off the time it took her mother to reach the door and check the visual eye to see who it was. She had not told anyone she was coming home. The door would most likely slide…..now.

"Oh Padme you're home!"

Padme's mother then proceeded to knock her breathless in a big hug. Nubians always gave the best hugs.

"Mom, I missed you. I missed all of you."

Jobal took her daughter's face into her hands. She inspected her daughter's face, eyes, and then stepped back to give her a once over. It was a rarity to see her and it worried her that Padme was always the #1 political contender to be in the middle of a battle.

"Oh goodness. You're okay. You are okay, right?"

Rolling her eyes, Padme replied, "Yes Mother. Now let me in, I am tired."

Padme pushed herself in and set her bag in the entrance hallway. Looking around, she smiled. There was always a certain warmth that she cold not find anywhere else, not even her apartment in Coruscant. Suddenly she felt a hand behind her pushing her to the kitchen.

"Now I know you are very tired but I need your help to cut up these berries for our desert tonight. Sit here," Jobal said, leading Padme to the chair closest to where she would finish up the rest of the cooking. On the table was a small basket of Chee-chee berries.

Padme sat down. Her mother returned to her task in the opposite direction. Looking at the berries, Padme blushed remembering the last time she had eaten Chee-chee berries with Anakin and the events that unfolded after finishing them.

Her mother spoke up, interrupting her thoughts,"I heard the news of Rush Clovis. The Holonet says he betrayed the Republic, that he was working for the Seperatists. That's why you're here, isn't it? He…he didn't hurt you did he?"

"No, he wasn't able to. You have nothing to be worried of, he's dead." The knife cut much harder than she intended, making the knife clink loudly against the marble countertop.

"I just don't understand. He seemed like such a kind young man when you introduced him to us but I guess the war…"

Clink!

"..the war changes people. Yes, war makes people do crazy things," Padme replied back tersely.

She remembered how Clovis placed the cold barrel of his blaster when he held her hostage in Scipio. Anakin had been right, once a traitor, always a traitor.

"I'm sure you feel very betrayed.I'm so sorry Padme," her mother said placing her hand on Padme's shoulder.

"He was a politician. I shouldn't have trusted him," Padme said, ending that topic.

"Well, it's good that Jedi Skywalker was there to protect you too," Jobal said quietly and turned back to her cooking.

Padme set the knife down.

"Well what a coincidence! Padme and Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker in the same planet isn't that new?" Sola entered the kitchen and raised her eyebrows acknowledging Padme.

Grabbing one of the diced pieces of Chee-chee, she continues on berating, "Geez Padme you had to hire the hottest Jedi to follow you across the galaxy."

Rolling her eyes at her sister, Padme got up to hug her. "I did not hire him. There are seriously other Jedi protecting me at times. You just choose to perk up your ears when you hear his name."

"Ah! Haha! I'm kidding. I know. I'm glad your safe baby sister."

Padme squeezed Sola back. She really did love her sister. "I can carry myself pretty well."

"Yeah I'm sure. So how's the most coveted woman in the Galactic Republican Senate doing?" Sola said exaggeratedly winking.

Padme sighed and sat down again. "I thought you had seen the Holonet News to answer that question."

"Oh yeah, definitely. It's a shame, Senator Clovis was pretty handsome too." Sola smirked at her younger sister. She loved pulling her strings.

Scowling, Padme was about to return with a witty retort when suddenly…

"Oh oh! You know speaking of old flames, you won't believe who I saw last week at the Farmer's market!" Sola exclaimed flailing her hands.

Padme really was not one to be nosy but this was her sister. Besides, it was nice to think about simpler things like gossip than the war. "Who?"

"Dax! Dax Rossum."

Padme's eyes widened, "You went out for him for like a year."

"I know! He kept looking at me but I played it off like I didn't recognize him until he finally came up to me," Sola said.

Leaning in Padme narrowed her eyes, "Well what did you say?"

"Well I wasn't going to be rude and completely ignore him. He said 'Hi' and I said it back. He asked me how I was doing and I replied that I was doing very well. You understand. Short answers and such. Anyways, then he asked me if I wanted 'to have lunch' with him to catch up," Sola replied nonchalantly.

Padme leaned in more. This, this was very similar to her situation and she found i necessary to know how her older sister handled it all. Her sister was older and she looked up to her sister's marriage. It had been going strong, even with two kids.

"So…"

Sola leaned back to give herself space. "So I told him no."

Surprised, Padme said, "How rude! You could have accepted his lunch invitation. It's not like you and him are an item, you could have gone as friends."

Pointing to her ring finger Sola continued, "In case you haven't noticed Padme, I'm married."

"So you didn't catch up with an old friend because of what Darred would think or say?"

"Not because of what Darred would say but because of Darred."

"So!" Padme responded, not quite understanding her sister's logic.

Huffing Sola responds, "You don't get it sweetie. _I'm married_. What kind of wife would I be if I went out dallying with some guy that's not my husband?"

The resounding smack of the mental slap Padme received echoed in her ears. *_Yeah, Padme what kind of wife would you be if you did that?*_

Suddenly feeling very small, Padme asked her sister another question, "But you two would just be talking. How is that bad?"

"It's not bad, baby sister. I love my husband so much. I would never want to hurt him. Even if I had gone with Dax, I would never allow him to even tough me or be so close to me. But why would I put myself throughout that? _Why would I give Darred reason to stop believing in me?_"

Padme's eyes widened slightly and then she remembered with whom she was with and where she was, and hid all her emotions. She had given Anakin a reason to stop believing in her? To doubt her? But she thought…

"…Darred trusted you?" Gasping, Padme did not know how she managed to say that out loud.

Sola slightly narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Of course Darred trusts me, but he doesn't know Dax and therefore he does not trust him," sighing Sola got up and leaned on the counter, "It's just a dangerous situation Padme. Me going out with Dax, gives him a reason to believe that I want something from him, when honestly I don't."

Kriff! Padme knew for sure that Rush believed she still harbored feelings for him. If him leaning towards her to kiss her was not a sign of that, she's not sure what was.

"Oh, baby sister, I know how hard this is for you to grasp, seeing as your some big shot feminist politician that's always out giving it to the man and the system, but marriage is…different._ It's not a power struggle_. It's just something you figure out."

Well then why couldn't she have figured it out earlier like her sister Sola. A deep fear entered Padme that perhaps she had it figured out much to late for her relationship.

Sola turned to her mother, "So Mom you've been awfully quiet. Any words of wisdom for our naive lady here?"

Her mother stopped cooking the broth and turned around to face Padme. Padme was eager to hear what her mother had to say as well. If anything, her mother's long marriage was proof of her wisdom.

Spoon in hand, Jobal took in a deep breath, and firmly smiled at her youngest child. "Well, there are a few things that I can add. Obviously your sister Sola acted upon her best interests in regards to her family. Sweetheart, when one gets married there's just certain things we cannot do anymore, like go to certain places, talk to certain people, even eat and smell certain things that will remind us of certain pasts. And we might innocently want all these things, but well…Padme to love is to put someone's needs before yours."

_To love is to put someone's needs before yours._

While in her childhood bed, late at night, Padme pondered all these things she had learned earlier. She was still slightly confused. If love was to sacrifice oneself than that's exactly what she had been doing all this time. She sacrificed herself everyday when she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs that she was married. She sacrificed herself when she would see the Holonet news and push down the need to cry. She sacrificed herself every time she had to give Anakin back to the Jedi.

_*Oh yes but you're the one that wanted to keep this marriage a secret_.*

That was true, she was the one who suggested that, even when all Anakin wanted was to leave the Jedi Order to be with her completely. He had been willing to sacrifice everything, but Padme stopped him. She knew Anakin would not be who he was without being a Jedi. He needed that even when he wouldn't admit it. So who's sacrifice was more noble?

This was all very confusing. Even this whole ordeal with Rush Clovis had been fueled by sacrifice. She hadn't lied when she told Anakin that her dealings with Clovis were strictly business. The 'dinner' in her apartment, the clothes she chose to wear, they were all part of the plan. Clovis, wether he was a traitor or not, was a crucial person to ending the war. That was her penultimate goal. To end the war and have her husband back into her arms and while Anakin thought the quickest way of ending it was through the military endeavors he partook in, she knew that the political arena would be much more successful in that endeavor. It was why she was always the first one to sign up to be part of the embassies that would embark to different war torn planets to find diplomatic solutions.

The Clovis affair, though, was in conclusion, a badly executed plan. She had acted rashly. Using the idea that her and Anakin's marriage was unconventional, she justified her dealings, and only ended up hurting Anakin profoundly. She had acted rashly. She had acted as if she was not married. She had disrespected her husband and given him a reason to doubt her. In all this she had acted selfishly and she only had her stubbornness to blame. She was always grasping for control, believing marriage to be like the Senate Arena. But like Sola had said it was not a power struggle. She had thought her being older than Anakin and being an experienced politician would make her wiser and more qualified to make decisions for the both of them. Padme was just as naive as him when it came to marriage and love. She had failed to see that her husband also had her best interests at heart.

For the first time ever, Padme was beginning to understand what it truly meant to be Padme Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker's wife. Anakin was flawed, he was moody and quick to anger. Just the way he almost killed Rush Clovis gave her an idea of just how scary he could become but his flaws were balanced with how tender, passionate, and loving he could be. Not only with her, but with his troops and the people that needed saving. She had witnessed his kindness in many missions before. He was a hero all across the galaxy but at the end of everything he still fell at her feet and humbled himself before her. She was privileged at most.

He was a beast. _A beautiful disaster_. But from the moment he told her he loved her, her heart whispered that it was her duty to love and care for him back. She loved Anakin Skywalker, more than herself. Many a times she contemplated how lucky she was, that the Force had chosen her to protect it's Son. She was tasked to tame the beast and she full heartedly accepted. In return, she gained the most faithful husband. He loved her without shame and without reserve. Even when across the stars, she felt loved, like never before.

He deserved a good wife and these past weeks her flawed logic had not allowed her to be that. If love meant sacrificing more, then Padme was willing to accept her faults in the situation and change. One day they would have their happy ending but for now she was willing to make him happy.

She had found her answers. Sighing and rolling towards the small table at her bedside. She reached for her comlink. Using R2-D2s scramble code, she contacted her husband. She hoped he was still on Coruscant or she feared that time would consume them both. She needed him now. Writing the message out, she sent it and turned back to stare at the ceiling above. She wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

Padme Amidala Naberrie Skywalker, wrapped up all her fears and naiveties, hoping that she would be able to fix this soon. _She was simply no good without him._

* * *

_END OF CH 2. ONLY 1 MORE CH LEFT._

_LEAVE REVIEW, COMMENT, OPINION, CRITICISM BELOW_

_THANKS_


	3. Say Something

_Alright everyone here is the final chapter of Afraid. I will be posting an Authors Note maybe later today or tomorrow. And I finished this at a good time because in 30 min we have the CLONE WARS SEASON 6 ON NETFLIX YAY! So we'll get to see what the issues between Anakin and Padme during the Clovis arc REALLY are. Thank you for waiting. I always ask you kindly to leave a review or comment, they are very helpful. Thank you to all of you who reviewed and followed. U guys are awesome :)_

_-jedimasterroyal out_

_Disclaimer: SW belongs to GL and Disney._

_SPOILER ALERT_

_SPOILER ALERT_

_CONTAINS SPOILERS TO CLOVIS ARC_

_without further ado…._

* * *

_*after episode Crisis at the Heart*_

It's almost dark when she arrives. The sky is filled with an orange purple haze as the sun begins to set. On the ground, the earthly tones of green mix with the iridescent hues of blue of the lake. All the animals and the fish nestle into their holes and nests, while small lighting bugs appear at the waters surface.

Padme had not been able to sleep the night before, just like she had thought. In the morning, she had received a response from him, one that she was very content with. Unfortunately she could not easily blow off her family like she might have thought. She had been with them practically the whole day and just an hour ago she feigned being called to an emergency Senate meeting and had to 'leave the planet' immediately. She was glad Anakin had been able to meet her here, in the lake house. It seemed like the perfect place to resolve their problem and rekindle all that they might have lost throughout the war.

Tying the speeder boat to the dock, seeing as she had rented the boat to get to the lake house by herself, she grabbed her suitcase with one hand and held out her other carefully to grab on to the post. She steadied herself, so as to not lose her balance when suddenly a hand grabbed her and pulled her up. She yelped in surprise and she crashed into a wall of muscle. Looking up, she found the bluest eyes that had captivated her for so long.

He wore a long cooke that concealed most of his face but being directly under his view, she saw his beauty. His sharp muscles and the wisps of golden that glistened with the sunset.

She also saw pain. His eyes held a sorrow she could not explain. They held death and worry. Padme hugged her husband, hiding the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. Anakin wrapped his arms around her as well and Padme noted that she had been wrong. Her home wasn't the only place she found that special warmth. She also found it within his arms. It was one of the reasons why she learned to love him.

They pulled away and Anakin grabbed her bag. He led the way inside.

He had been waiting for her in the sitting room. The night before he had been wallowing in his room at the Temple. Obi-Wan had come by but he acted asleep. He did not feel like speaking to anyone.

When Padme had told him she was coming to Naboo after the ordeal in Scipio his heart plunged. He thought she would have been ready to talk but she wasn't. He feared being called out to the front lines and not being able to fix this. He knew his faults. He would swallow his pride as long as it meant that she would be with him.

When he received her message, he jumped on ship and head straight to the Lake Country. He didn't care if he got in trouble when he got back. He had prepared a long list of excuses for a day like this. His utmost priority right now was to win his wife back.

He led her to the sitting room where he had a fire started already. Anakin was trying to appeal to her senses. This was the room where he first expressed his feelings to her. It was also the room where they first made love, at her insistence. This room held memories, good ones and angsty ones as well. This would be the perfect place to make up. And it seemed she approved, for when he placed her bag down and turned around, he found her looking around with a small smile on her face.

He walked towards her. She hypnotized him, not only with her beauty, but with her scent, her aura, her presence. He could feel her even if she was across the galaxy and his heart quickened. She was his motivation. Having her so close, it gave him an ecstasy like no other. It was a welcome euphoria.

Once in front of her he leaned down. He yearned for her kiss, for her touch. She did too. Padme leaned in but when their lips were an inch away they both stopped. They could feel each other's breath and the urge to forgo everything and succumb to passion was strong.

The fire cackled in the foreground. Padme brought her hands to his chest and she turned away.

"We need to talk, don't we?" Anakin murmured.

She nodded. They had never done this before. It was awkward at the most and scary. She was unsure what his feelings were. If anything, this could end both ways.

Sighing, Anakin led her to the sofa and allowed her to sit down. He would lead first. He sat down and ran a hand through his hair, having pulled his cloak down. When he looked up at her again he found her looking at her lap. She kept wringing her hands and he could see that they were trembling. He placed his human hand over both of hers to catch her attention. Her eyes betrayed her strong facade. She looked…weary.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out.

Padme's eyes widened.

"I'm sorry…..I, I shouldn't have let my jealousy get the best of me. I'm a Jedi, I'm supposed to have control, but I know this is more than me being a Jedi." He looked for some kind of response. He caressed her hands, "This is me as your husband. I failed you. Everything you said to me, it was true. I should have trusted you. It's just that when I saw him with you…I thought I had lost you." Anakin leaned forward again to almost kiss her but he did not want to push her into something she did not feel. Padme and him had perfect chemistry but he needed to know if she still loved him.

"You'll never lose me," Padme spoke up and Anakin looked into her eyes once again.

"I know I scared you though. I lost control. I let my emotions cloud my judgement. I almost…killed Clovis. I had the power to do it and the worst thing is that I enjoyed it. When I saw you though, you were scared. I'm a monster. I don't deserve you," he said frantically.

Now it was Padme's turn to grasp his hands, "Don't say that."

"But…"

"No, hear me out. Yes, you did scare me at that moment but that does not make me love you any less. I told you before, to be angry is to be human and," Padme gulped, "anyways I provoked you."

"What do you mean?" Anakin whispered not quite understanding what his wife was implicating.

"I…I never loved Rush Clovis. I might have liked him in the past but the only reason I was communicating with him now was because I knew he was an important piece of the puzzle that is this war. Nonetheless, I too failed you. You…you were right. Once a traitor, always a traitor. I should have stayed away. I shouldn't have taken the mission with him when I knew that Rush liked me. I…I disrespected our vows. I'm your wife and I went with Clovis even when I knew it bothered you. I let duty justify my dealings and I hurt you," tears sprang to Padme's eyes and her voice cracked, "And the worst is that I gave you a reason to doubt me. Please….please don't think…"

"Never," Anakin captured her weeping face into both of his hands. "I would never think so lowly of you. Of Clovis yes, but of you never. I just thought he would whisk you away from men. I love you. I'll never stop loving you. I know I can't offer you a regular marriage but I can offer you what I have. It's all yours. I would do anything for you. Just please don't ever stop loving me. I…I don't know how I would live without you. You're my everything."

Padme closed her eyes. She savored this moment and his sweet words. She was so lucky. "I love you Anakin Skywalker. I don't want anyone else but you. You make me happy. I know there's no one in this world that loves me like you do. Please forgive me?"

"Only if you forgive me," he said while brushing her tears away with his thumbs.

Padme gave Anakin a small nod and only then did a small smile break on his face.

Only then did they allow themselves to kiss. At first it was simply a small brush. It was slow and lingering. Both were happy to find that their kiss held the all the love and excitement that the first had held. It was like….magic. Then the kiss deepened and that too was magical because it held all the yearning and experience that only a married couple knows.

Soon they let go for air and Padme leaned into him fully. The time to make love would come later. For once she just wanted to be held.

"Hold me," Padme murmured against his chest.

"Always milady. Even when we're both old and grey."

Padme smiled. She liked the idea of spending a brief eternity with the man of her youth.

Breaking her thoughts Anakin whispered into her ear, "I missed you, Angel." He snuggled up against her.

"Me too, my love."

So with Rush Clovis behind them, both Padme and Anakin bundled up their fears, and for once let love reign. At least for now.

_FIN_

* * *

_REVIEWS AND COMENTARIOS PLEASE._

_I'll post my Author's note tomorrow. Gotta catch some ZZZs and EVERYONE ENJOY SEASON 6 of the CLONE WARS ON NETFLIX. LATEZ_


	4. Author's Note

Afraid AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hey guys this is jedimasterroyal here and as I said before this is my author's note for this fanfic. Now I believe that this will be the only time that I will ever do this, explain myself, for a fic I write. Honestly though, I think the Clovis arc is one of the most controversial points in the Anidala community that will seriously go down in history. As it is March 7, in California, where I am located, I barely saw the Clovis Arc on Netflix and yeah it was exactly what I had heard from the spoilers. To say that I am disappointed is an understatement.

Let me tell you my story. I became a SW fan after watching Revenge of the Sith and two things saddened me of this.

That I missed out on everything Star Wars (movie premieres, comic cons, fangirling) for the rest of my life. That I couldn't return to the past and live amongst my people (I know, I'm being overly dramatic).That within the movie there was a couple like none that I had never seen before. One that loved SO MUCH, that there own love destroyed them. That couple was Anakin and Padme. I remember being depressed for months on end. I watched ROTS like 6 times and every time I would cry. I remember at one point I found and I binged on "what if" stories, at least until I found out that Episode II existed and I binged on that. But even AOTC was not enough to dampen my sad heart because even when I saw Anakin and Padme fall in love over and over again, in the back of my mind I already knew they were doomed from the start.

And I guess that's what attracted us to ship this coupling. It's an addictive tragedy. I think all Anidala shippers felt that same depression when they saw ROTS. And if you have all saw the Clovis Arc again, you can feel that bitter taste in your mouth again. Deep in the recess of my mind, I know that this will be (most likely) the last time that any of us will get canon Anakin and Padme, perhaps in EU novels (but apparently those aren't canon, I'm calling BS), but last time on the screen. I hate, hate, hate the fact that the last produced work I got of Anakin/Padme was the Clovis arc.

It's not that I hate the arc itself, in fact I honestly have no thoughts over it. It's just meh….

The character Rush Clovis is an epic douche. He's like the Hans (Frozen) of the Clone Wars animated series. His character was so badly developed. They made him evil but they made him nice. It's confusing. It's unnecessary for something already so muddled. He holds a blaster to Padme's head but at the end he lets go! Seriously! He's a pussy villain. Padme's character development in this arc was totally fucked up. It does not make any sense at all. In the first episode she's all sassy to him, then she totally goes along with him because, you know, the Republic and duty. (very Padme like, so thats good) and then in "the Rise of Clovis" she becomes a total, dare I say it, a slut. She's wearing these revealing things, and inviting him for dinner and like shoving her ass on him while she's serving him his plate. It looked like she was selling herself for info. Or at least that she really did harbor feeling for him if she felt sorry for him. It's VERY unlike Padme to do that. She works with Bail Organa all the time and you don't see her throwing herself at him. From what we know in the films, Padme LOVES Anakin. Of course she's more older, so she feels that hiding their marriage is more beneficial for the both of them but she does't go out of her way to purposefully be part of everything in the war. In Episode III she looks very devoted to the war and to her husband without any foul play, making Anakin descent to villainy perfect, because then the jealousy and possessiveness is more out of place and cynical.\The arc left MUCH unanswered. Where's the makeup. Where's the part where we can try to understand what Padme was getting at. Did she like Clovis or does she confirm her unwavered love to Anakin again? NO Nothing. She just says Sorry (I'm at least that was in there.)

Honestly the Clovis Arc was a revamped episode of "Senate Spy" and TOTALLY UNNECESSARY. What a waste of an arc. Maybe they should have put how Padme found out she was pregnant or some funny lighthearted mess where she had to get rid of the medicdroid who had the info of her pregnancy.

OR if they really wanted to explain how Anakin was slowly becoming weirdly evil, they could have put Padme working intensely with the Loyalists and how Anakin felt betrayed by that because it went against Palpatine's wishes. He could of been jealous of Bail as long as it meant her not selling herself out for info.

The reason why I wrote Afraid was to be a compliment of everything that was not shown in the arc and what I would have liked to see. I mean, this is fanfic after all. But as I saw in Tumblr early this morning, some people were saying that Anakin was being a jealous douche, or that he was undermining her. Which is true. Anakin and Padme's relationship is one of the most UNHEALTHIEST relationships there is, but they love each other. Their secrecy is what is supposed to ruin at all for them. Like I said before, they could have put Anakin's possessiveness without ruining Padme's rep. At the same time I think Anakin acted in accordance to what was going on. They are not boyfriend and girlfriend where you can still talk to everyone else. They are married. I think marriage has boundaries and as husband and wife there's certain things that have to be respected, even if their marriage was secret. Of course, Anakin could have asked nicely, not like some meathead. "You can't work with him!" Yet, Anakin had a right to be angry or wary of what was going on.

So yeah….I got that off my chest. Like I said, some people won't find they agree with me. I'm sort of traditional in thinking that marriage is a sacred vow, you don't mess around with it. I also think they butchered Padme. She's one of my favorite characters in SW and they totally made her look bad (at least that's what I think). There could have been better ways in showing her as the strong, feminist character she is.

So let me know what you think. PLEASE PLEASE. I'm a college student and I live off thinking over things to much. This is a great outlet for me.

THANK YOU FOR ALL OF U WHO REVIEWED UR AWESOME!

jedimasterroyal out.


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